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  • Writer's pictureJillian Tedesco

Self-love and self-care aren’t the answer

When we are on the edge of burnout we tend to make bad decisions. We let our guard down and we can look for something to dull the pain. We want to numb out.

We look to something that gives us hope. These things are called idols. Our wardrobe, dependency on a relationship, substance abuse, comparison to others, etc.

But Jesus says, “Come to me all who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest.”

Instead, sometimes we (I’m guilty of this) turn the healing inward and work on “self” by doing things that we have heard are supposed to be “good” like…



Working out

Getting in nature

Quiet time alone

These things can all be helpful but they are all INCOMPLETE!

The more we focus inward we might feel better. It might help us release the guilt or shame we feel at this moment. But oftentimes that “release” isn’t actually processing the root of the feeling, so we find we come back to it time and time again.

That cyclical guilt, shame, or whatever feeling it is must not be ignored. It needs to be processed. If we were walking with Jesus through this process, we will feel conviction. Conviction is the discipline of the Spirit of God. It’s humbling to walk with Jesus, and that is when true healing happens. Conviction is often not rainbows and butterflies. For me, it’s often gut-wrenching. It brings me to my knees and exposes itself as tears run down my face when I’m reading God’s word or meditating on His promises.

Conviction leads to surrender. This surrender allows us to take the right actions under God’s guidance. We’re all guilty of overlooking or skipping this step. In some seasons of your life, you might even be actively pushing God’s presence aside and filling that void with “self” practices that serve “self” rather than walking with Jesus and serving God.

This is a hard pill to swallow guys. The doctor isn’t even legally allowed to give me a large enough prescription to fulfill the number of times I have had to (and still have to) swallow that pill.

Ultimately, Jesus wants us to experience joy and love, and peace. We get these ultimate benefits when we invite him to walk with us through our struggles and give Him our yoke. He tells us to take his yolk instead, it is light and easy.

If this helps, I want to share a visualization that I have of Jesus with you. When I want to connect with him when I am feeling overwhelmed or dealing with something awful, I picture him in his sandals standing with a huge bucket smiling at me. He wants me to dump my shit in his bucket and he is going to carry it for me. I literally get to give it all to him. This is a little more relevant than the word yoke to me, but the same idea.

"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” - Matthew 11:28-30





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